Memories of Destruction by Aydin Adaghsloo
“These thoughts don’t mean anything.”
Woooha. That one lands with a thump. Or crashes, more accurately. When in my mid-twenties I started meditating for the first time, I considered not “paying attention” to my thoughts as a personal insult. Merely observing them felt dismissive and undervaluing them. If I did not have my thoughts, how would I even function? Like pay the bills and decide what’s for dinner. I think it was Jeff Foster who said:
“You don’t need to entertain all thoughts like unwanted house guests, but you can still offer them a cup of tea...”
Given where I am now: Rather tired, emotionally ass whooped, physically exerted, mentally provoked, surrounded by dust and boxes, processing old belongings and old memories this lesson may resonate differently than intended, I am not sure.
Can this lesson offer me relief, adapted a little, so it doesn’t dismiss my lived reality, and how I can be rattled by the simplest daily task?
Original idea
The Course is saying: Our thoughts are not neutral, and they’re usually recycled from the past. When you stop clinging to them, you can be open to a new way of seeing.
My adapted version for today
“The thoughts I am having right now are old echoes.
They are not the only truth available to me.
I am willing to see what exists beyond them.”
This way, I am not pretending these thoughts aren’t happening or ignoring whatever triggers them. I also don’t use them to jump to any conclusions about myself or where I am headed.
How to practice while sorting through stuff
When a thought hits like:
This is all crap.
Seven years wasted.
I’ll never get through this.
I pause and say:
“This thought is an echo. It is not the whole truth. I can let it pass.”
I don’t have to fight the thought or force a positive one. Right now, one would not replace the other. It would be more like a thin veneer. I decide not to call thoughts, either way. I just name it as an echo and let it move on.
(I wonder whether there's a difference between not naming and not identifying. Sometimes witnessing a thought with gentleness and naming it can actually be part of the untangling.)
I am thinking now how this aligns with Jose Silva and Joe Dispenza. Theirs are practices where thoughts are actively used to manifest. I am also thinking today about: Time for healing and deep contemplation versus the worldly dimension of where to live and how to make a living. I have been here one week now and I am still not landed in a way. I respect and honour my process by acknowledging this.
In A Course in Miracles, Lesson 4’s “these thoughts don’t mean anything” is about loosening the automatic stream of recycled, past-conditioned thinking so we can hear something deeper. In Silva and Dispenza’s work, the clearing of old thought patterns is the first step before intentionally generating new, coherent, emotionally charged visions that can manifest in the physical.
They’re actually more compatible than I at first glance assumed. ACIM just stops at the clearing stage, while Silva/Dispenza go on to consciously seed the mind with what you want to create. The difference for the next steps I think, lies in the Dispenzas of the world looking at the creation of life as a collaboration between I and the quantum/field/universe, whereas ACIM sees my purpose as equal to God’s purpose and I think I am being asked to surrender to: My mind is God’s mind and nothing else is true or real. Ehmmm.
Current reflection
I am holding two layers at once:
Time for healing and contemplation: letting my system process, integrating the move back into the house (temporarily and in transition), listening inward.
Worldly dimension: making concrete decisions about where to live and how to generate income.
I am willing to see differently, with respecting my process as a non-negotiable.
A HOW TO, INTEGRATIVE APPROACH
This is very likely not how the author/conceiver of ACIM intended it, but I am going there anyway.
Stage 1 Clearing the Field (ACIM)
Purpose: Loosen the grip of old, automatic thoughts so they stop steering your emotions and choices.
Daily practice:
Notice a repetitive thought (fear, resentment, hopelessness).
Name it as an echo or old projection.
Say: “This thought is not the whole truth. I’m willing to see differently.”
Effect: You reduce emotional reactivity, giving your nervous system space to feel safe.
Stage 2 Dropping into the Neutral Zone (Overlap of ACIM & Silva)
Purpose: Shift from “mental noise” to “mental stillness”, the state where new ideas can land. Where we can create instead of “having to be in control”. It requires faith, trust, I know (I am not entirely unwavering myself here).
Daily practice:
5–10 minutes of relaxed breathing or soft-focus meditation.
Let your attention rest on your body, breath, or a gentle sound.
If thoughts come, use ACIM’s phrasing: “This thought does not mean anything.”
Effect: Your brain waves move toward alpha/theta (the same receptive state Silva and Dispenza train for).
Stage 3 Planting New Seeds (Silva/Dispenza)
Purpose: Intentionally use thought + elevated emotion to call in your future.
Daily practice:
Choose one clear focus (e.g., I am living in a safe, inspiring environment that nourishes me).
Visualise it vividly: Not just the scene, but how it feels in your body.
Hold the image and emotion for 3–5 minutes.
Release it with gratitude, as though it’s already real.
Effect: You’re no longer manifesting from fear or lack. You’re creating from a calm, coherent state.
Stage 4 Aligned Action
Purpose: Let intuition guide practical next steps without forcing the timeline.
Daily practice:
Each morning, ask: “What one small thing can I do today that aligns with my vision?”
Follow through on whatever arises, even if it’s small (an email, a conversation, a piece of decluttering).
Effect: Keeps your worldly momentum moving while staying in harmony with your healing. For me this has been 1) consistent self care 2) writing daily 3) tackling a few boxes at a time without forcing my pace 4) jotting down random thoughts in a jumbled list in a mix of to do and desires to keep my mind “unclogged”.
WHY I DO THIS?
I don’t want to have to choose between deep contemplation and worldly action.
This bridge lets me move back and forth, without getting lost/stuck in one or hide/sink into the other:
ACIM clears and softens inner space.
Silva/Dispenza seeds that space with a chosen vision.
Small, real-world actions keep me from feeling stuck or drifting.
STUCK IN SURVIVAL: THE THOUGHTS/FEELINGS THAT COME WITH IT
Joe Dispenza doesn’t publish a definitive catalog of all the "negative thoughts" he targets. His work is more about transforming general emotional patterns (fear, guilt, anger, etc.). However, drawing from his writing (particularly Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself and You Are the Placebo) plus what he emphasises around clearing the mind, I can distill a useful list of common negative thoughts worth tracking:
I am not enough feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness
I am anxious/fearful catastrophic or future-fearing thoughts
I am stuck / will never get out of this hopelessness or resignation
I am unlovable guilt or self-rejection
I am incapable of change rigid self-beliefs inhibiting growth
I am not safe alarmed or triggered states from trauma echoes
I am powerless surrendering agency in one’s story
Life is against me victimhood and external blame
Emotions define me trapped in a feedback loop of feeling and thought
How to Use the List
Note them as they arise: When a thought like those above drifts in (especially during fatigue or packing stress) mark it as a standard echo, not your truth.
Journal short labels: E.g. “Not enough”, “Hopeless”, “Unlovable.” Over time, you’ll notice which thoughts repeat and how they may tie to fatigue or overwhelm.
Pair with your clearing mantra (Lesson 4):
“This thought is an echo. It’s not the whole truth. I am open to a different possibility today.”
I will listen to his audiobook again and create a comprehensive list later. He is very insightful about these, especially the ones connected to our fight flight freeze survival consciousness.
In Becoming Supernatural and Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Joe Dispenza uses elevated emotions to create a different reality. This is the emotional “fuel” that makes an intention biologically believable to your body. Without that pairing, the brain may imagine a new reality, but the body stays wired to the old one. In Dispenza’s framework our challenge lies in the body becoming the mind (I am not yet clear on the role of the body in ACIM).
These elevated emotions include things like:
Gratitude
Love
Joy
Freedom
Inspiration
Awe
Wholeness
Compassion
Empowerment
He emphasises that these aren’t just “nice feelings”. They are chemical signals that change your physiology and signal your body that the future you’re envisioning is already happening. That’s why he pairs them so intentionally with meditations.
The Prophecy Of Astrology
The stars, or planets aligned to drive home my ACIM lessons and everything that popped up during journalling (you can tell I don’t really know how astrology works, I just know my horoscope in Vogue India is always eerily on point):
“… know that tonight's full moon is bringing in clarity, insights and clearings that not only align you but also make you accept your worthiness. You are not afraid to stand up and walk away. You tried your best, and you simply cannot carry the weight anymore. The scary part for you right now is not falling and having to figure out how to stand back up—it is standing your ground and choosing surrender. Cosmic tip: The storm will pass, and nothing will be the same again. And this does not have to be a bad thing.”
This is uncanny in how closely it mirrors where I am right now, in all senses, physically, emotionally, spiritually.
Walking away: from the house, from the village, from the dynamics that have kept me feeling small and helpless. Yet also walking away from the illusions of “homeland”, “family” and “belonging”. Question is: what or where am I walking towards?
Deep reset: exactly what this healing period is meant to be. Question is: how long will this take and what comes after?
Safe space: not just a place, but the inner condition I’ve been trying to cultivate through ACIM, Dispenza, and my own discernment work. Question is: what do I need to vividly and lovingly start to envision this and calling it in (I have a feeling that the kick Kondo’s ass approach to sort and sift may be laying the groundworks for this).
Full moon clarity: a symbolic invitation to see what I’ve already been sensing (with the help of my second guardian tree, the black pine): I am worthy of leaving, and I don’t have to justify it to anyone. Question is: Do I trust myself yet?
Standing my ground and choosing surrender: this is so much my current threshold: surrender doesn’t mean collapse, it means stop wrestling with what’s already decided inside me. Question is: Am I ready to surrender into a collaboration or one mind… that it does not have to be in my hands…?
And the last line: the storm will pass, and nothing will be the same again.
It felt warm, and comforting yet crisp and clear: that is the truth of this kind of transition. Not necessarily good/bad, just irrevocably different.
If you wanted, we could take this horoscope and fold it into your Lesson 4 adaptation for today so it feels even more anchored in where you’re at. Would you like me to do that?
A Little Mind Game For Clarity
I sometimes play a game with myself. To gain clarity, I ask myself: if anything is possible what would I do/ask for/create?
When I felt a pinch of jealousy seeing how various neighbours have built new gazebos, guest houses or an entire second floor on top of their house, I asked myself:
“If I had unlimited funds, would I stay and invest those here?”
The answer was: NO.
Even if a 100.000 EUROS would magically fall into my lap right this instant, I would not be dusting off old renovation plans or start calling around for a crew. I would make a pot of tea, lay down in the yard and dream of where and how I do want to live.
It helps.
Do I trust myself enough today to take just one next step in making space for the unknown next step? 😘